The Challenge of Letting Go

A large mass of balloons are released into the blue sky
Photo by Luca Upper / Unsplash

Whew, it's been a weird month—lots of moving pieces as I wind down some projects to make space for new things to arise. I'm looking forward to sharing more about those new things soon, but today will be about celebrating and saying goodbye to the old things.

For the past few months, I've been involved in a bit of a legal imbroglio with my former employers at Bhumisparsha ... long story short, after I left my position as General Coordinator in 2021, they have been unable to figure out how to get the Massachusetts AG's Office to dissolve the legal entity that I helped them form in 2020. This has led to some re-engagement with what's left of the team as we try to sort it out together; it has also required some unexpected bureaucratic legwork on my part, which will hopefully be over soon. It has provided a good opportunity for me to sit with the feelings of sadness, frustration, disappointment, and anger that stemmed from our failure to build the system I had thought possible when first signing on to the core team: a vibrant, consent-based governance system supporting community stewardship of the tools and systems that went into maintaining the space. It's also a reminder that this wasn't where I was meant to serve—something that became abundantly clear by the time I was on my way out the door. I'm grateful for all of the learnings I took away from trying, making mistakes, and ultimately failing to bring about something aligned with the liberatory vision that accompanied its founding.

My first attempt at applying those learnings to another project, Catalyst Cooperative Healing, will also continue without me starting next month. Fortunately, the organization is in excellent shape and I am leaving on good terms, having handed off my responsibilities to the rest of the team after facilitating a hiring process last year that brought in four new worker-owners. It has been a joy to watch this dream of a mental health worker cooperative actually take shape over the past two and a half years, with consent-based decision-making as our means of steering the ship. It has also been clear for awhile now that the music is calling, so I'm listening—trying to make more space for Mirlo, Somewhere Else!!!!, and whatever else it has in store for me. In the meantime, I'll be working through the last steps in front of me as I step away from these projects. Wish me luck and stay tuned—I'm hoping to share some exciting updates next month!

For this month's musical excerpt, check out this early Mirlo album I've kept coming back to, Golden Hours by silent broadcast: